01 February 2007

"open seclusion" just sucks...

So, my work setup is a super large "L" desk with 6 drawers, shelves on the wall, a small closet/cabinet for a jacket or umbrella with two more drawers beneath, an open cupboard with 9 shelves on it, each their own little cube, in addition to two more small cabinets up on the back wall.

My use of these facilities involves a drawer with old newspapers that I have yet to carry to recycling, a single empty plastic water bottle lays on it's side among the 9 shelves, kept so far for two main reasons; the first being that again, I have yet to carry it to recycling, and the second being that I was so intrigued by the group discussion about our research that I proceeded to slowly but surely cut the 4 inches of paper/plastic wrap on it into slices, following the grooves of the bottle. That was entertaining. I think keeping it lets me remind myself of my accomplishment for that day.

This brings me to what I face every day, the far wall that extends the entire portion of the building, entirely windows letting in the sunlight of the day, watching the leaves fall from the trees, observing today's snowfall; all of this is what brings me to why this just sucks. Sitting in this spot I realize that I would rather be hiking along a peak ridge, walking the downtown streets, canoeing a river, just sitting on the grass that resides a floor below me would be incredibly better than here. I have a laptop - and wireless - why am I not out there?!

So, the open seclusion is that I believe work places me in a depressing mood by letting me sit and observe what I am missing out on - I feel like I'd be happier in a small cubicle with buzzing fluorescent lighting (perhaps not - I'm rather sensitive about the sounds...).

Except for my single coworker, my daily interaction at work involves one of the following lines:

"No"
"Hi"
"I don't know"
"No (deeper this time, with a low, underlying growl)"
"No (almost same as the previous, but with eye gestures)"

People walking by always ask me for directions. It's really annoying, too. Not because they ask, but because they expect me to know their answer instantly without me offering to help them find it - because, basically, I don't know where it is either.

So, that's that. On a positive note, I can always just lean back in my chair and look out the window, dreamily picturing myself just sitting on the outside lawn.

Ah, to pass the time away...I think there are paperclips in my desk drawer...